Create a stress free caregiving schedule

How to help an ailing friend or family member When a loved one is diagnosed with a life-threatening illness, offers of assistance can be overwhelming in number and wide-ranging in scope. Each person's needs are different, but there are certain things you can do to make sure your loved one's needs are being met without causing the additional stress of responding to each offer of assistance. "Try to streamline the network of support," said Denise Pozen of So Tell Me a manufacturer of personal health organizers. "Have one person talk to the patient or family members to develop a list of needs and corresponding tasks." This person can then coordinate assigning volunteers and friends to address the tasks and do follow-up. Having one designated person communicate with friends and relatives on the patient's progress is also helpful. Areas in which support is often requested and appreciated include: Transportation - providing a means of getting to and from medical appointments can relieve the stress and burden for the patient and other family members. Paperwork - handling or setting up a system for the patient to organize and handle health-related paperwork allows the patient to focus on his or her own well-being. Using a health organizer, one can record healthcare provider information and track appointments, symptoms, medications, test results and much more. "This is a big stress reliever. And including travel directions with the healthcare provider information will also help those who are providing transportation," said Pozen. Errands - doing grocery shopping, picking children up at school or transporting them to and from activities will lend a great deal of support. Cooking meals - preparing some favorite dishes frees time to focus on other priorities. Some meals can be prepared for immediate use, and others can be frozen for future use. Household chores - cleaning and keeping up with laundry as well as yard work and gardening will provide a feeling of normalcy and lessen the impact of the illness on daily routines. Bill paying - staying on top of finances, including the increased number of medical bills and insurance claims, will reduce stress. Babysitting - keeping the children occupied and entertained to allow for some emotional downtime or rest will make a large difference in emotional well-being. Dog walking and pet sitting - taking on this responsibility if the patient is admitted to the hospital for any extended period will provide peace of mind. Assistance with some of the daily pet care activities may also be appreciated. Letter writing - allowing the patient to keep up communications with those they care about will give them a sense of control and will keep relationships current. Added lifestyle activities can improve both physical and mental energy levels. Consider: Massage therapy - a massage may be just the thing to reduce pain, nausea and depression as effectively as drug therapy, but without the side effects, according to Dr. Barrie Cassileth in the Journal of Pain and Symptom Management. A trip to the library - gathering the most recent best sellers or topics of interest in book or audio format will provide distraction during waiting periods at medical visits or during certain medical procedures. Personal services - manicures, pedicures and haircuts are all ways to make the patient feel better emotionally. DVD subscription - movies offer a nice distraction, and receiving and returning movies by mail will eliminate the need for assistance from others. No matter what type of assistance, offering it with an organized and coordinated network of support can be one of the best ways to make a difference when a friend or family member is diagnosed with a serious illness. - ARA